


Shooting Stars

by baekkieony



Series: Different Directions Of Love [14]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I'm Sorry, Love, M/M, Not, Not Beta Read, Sad Ending, Shooting Stars, Sorry Not Sorry, Unhappy Ending, but it's kinda cute, cardiac defect, dying, i love that movie, jongin is dying, silver linings, very angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-09 08:49:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12272991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekkieony/pseuds/baekkieony
Summary: Jongin would like to believe that wishes made out of shooting stars are actually becoming true.





	Shooting Stars

“Chanyeol?”, Jongin's voice is a little horse and silent in the chilly air outside and the windy weather which goes along with autumn is blowing up his hair beautifully. Jongin's skin is glowing in the warm evening sun and the falling leaves from the trees are covering the ground. Chanyeol thinks that his best friend never looked more stunning than now, without all the make up and the studio lights; raw and young.

“Yes?”, Chanyeol's answer is just as quiet, because one word too loud would destroy this beautiful moment which doesn't happen often in a lifetime.

“Do you believe in shooting stars?”.

Chanyeol has to think about this question a moment, but his mind already decided how he'd answer. “Yes”. Jongin answers with a small hum. “Hmh. But isn't after all important what you'd wish for and not if you even believe in them? Because, I mean you only got one chance”, Chanyeol has to nod.

“And?”, it's a question that comes out of Chanyeol's mouth; it's clear what he wants to know, but Jongin still doesn't get it. It'd make Chanyeol laugh if there wasn't the fact that there wasn't anything funny about Jongin confusion, because Chanyeol knows that this boy has given up the hope for a last wish a long time ago.

“What do you mean with 'and'?”.

“I want to know what you'd wish for. What would you wish for if had one chance, Jongin?”, it's not the fact that Chanyeol is so curious, it's more the fact that Jongin will never have this one wish that makes this one tear fall from his cheek when he turns his head to look at Jongin.

Jongin is silent, very silent, because this question stole him his breath and he doesn't know how to answer it, because there are thousand things Jongin would wish for if he had the chance.

So Jongin has to think, really has to think a little and Chanyeol gives him the time he needs while he stares at Jongin's beautiful face and decides that he can never tell him that _this right here_ is more than friendship for Chanyeol.

“I think I'd wish for time. I would wish for time with you, for a year with you, a christmas with you, a birthday with you, an hour, a minute or just a second more with you than I'm supposed to have. There are to many things I'd wish for, but you would be the one I really choose”.

It's the fact that Jongin chooses him, but still never would feel the same that makes Chanyeol stare in sky and cry a little more, because they're both waiting for Jongin's silver lining in the dark and it seems like it'll never come for Jongin.

They have to go back in and it's getting cold and they have to separate now, but not without Chanyeol promising that he comes to Jongin's session tomorrow and the promise that they'll meet at exactly this roof from the hospital Jongin's in in exactly three months again to celebrate new year's eve.

That would be the 31th of december and it makes Jongin sad, because he doesn't know if he's even going witness the 31th of december.

 

____________________________________________

 

**|One month later|**

Jongin's health didn't get better. Not even the slightest. He's now kind of chained to the bed, caged in his white room in the hospital with white walls and people with white clothes. White scares him now, because white has become his colour of pain and failure, of broken dreams and destroyed hope.

Jongin can feel his heart skipping a beat or two and it makes him ache in pain, because he doesn't think he had ever done something that bad to deserve this. He doesn't question his fate, he only questions the reason for it, because everything he thought of as great and a good thing to do seems now unnecessary and small.

Chanyeol isn't here today and Jongin feels lonely in his white room without him comforting and being Chanyeol, because Chanyeol is soft where Jongin isn't and is understanding where Jongin can't be understanding. He's the only person that is left, that didn't run away under the pressure of losing a person and not being able to do anything against it.

Jongin would like to tell him how much more this friendship is for him, how much more he sees in Chanyeol than just a best friend and how much he'd like to tell him every single day that he loves him, but he doesn't want to be a burden, because is there even somebody outside who'd like to love person which fate it is to die?

Maybe Jongin knows a little that Chanyeol would just laugh about his concerns and tell him that every person dies at some point, but Jongin is too much of a coward to admit that.

 

____________________________________________

 

**|One and a half month later|**

Jongin can feel his heart aching. Nothing more and nothing less. It's just aching and nothing else, nothing spectacular and nothing special. It's aching like it did all the time, but Jongin knows that this is different, because when he closes his eyes his heart is not skipping one or two beats, no, it's skipping beating at all.

Chanyeol is not here today, because he has to write his highschool finals and even if Jongin would like to hold his hand now and tell him goodbye, he cannot steal the future Jongin wasn't able to have from Chanyeol too. HIs throat is sore and the words won't stream out like they're supposed to do.  
  
Jongin knows that Chanyeol would come here if he just call him and tell him that he needs him, but he can't because his heart stopped beating and Jongin can't move or feel or breathe or exist. He can't call Chanyeol because he's dead and frozen forever and Jongin dies an unhappy death with the regret of not telling how much more Chanyeol had been than just a friend.

 

____________________________________________

 

**|A half month later|**

Chanyeol is standing on the roof on the 31th of december, waiting for the fireworks and Jongin to come, even if he knows that Jongin will never come.

It still hurts a lot, thinking of him and how much he could have done better or at least telling him how he felt – more still feels. His heart is still aching when he thinks about Jongin and he knows that it's all his own fault, his own dumbness and that he could have done so much better.

His legs are dangling over the abyss, deep and dark, but Chanyeol doesn't care about the abyss or the cold when he's staring in the sky, searching for these silver linings Jongin was supposed to have, but Chanyeol knows that he'd keep searching forever.

Chanyeol knows that Jongin could have done so much better than this cardiac defect and Chanyeol has to admit that he'd would like to believe in shooting stars a little more.

But Chanyeol has learnt a lesson, a very important lesson, because he didn't tell Jongin how he felt because he was scared and dumb, even if it would change exactly nothing. People come and go and life goes on.

Chanyeol only imagined the side where he'd lose Jongin. You don't tell him, you'll lose him in the end. You tell him now, you lose him now. In every single word Chanyeol has imagined he has only let himself see the glass half-empty. Why didn't he let himself believe for one moment in the existence of a world where the glass is half-full?

So Chanyeol keeps staring at his silver linings he has nobody to share with and cries, because it's to late to turn back.


End file.
